moving on

It has been a little over 3 weeks since my grandmother passed away.  I'm learning that it though doesn't take long to pay tribute and say goodbye, moving on isn't easy.  What does it mean to "move on" anyway?  What exactly is the next step when someone who has been part of your life for so many years, for your whole life in fact, isn't there anymore?  I'm learning that it's a lot of day-to-day regularity interspersed with pause for tears and reflection.

The other night I saw my 9 year-old son wrapped up in his "Grandma Tibbitts blanket" on the couch.  It's one he chooses when his bedding is being washed.  Grandma made baby blankets for each of my children until MEC, when she concluded (and she was right) that after five kids, we must have plenty of blankets at our house.  Each blanket is unique, from the silky/lacy pink quilt of RVC's to the simple bordered fleece blanket she made for CAC.  Somehow the image my child taking comfort in one of these blankets comforts me.  Maybe it's the sense that a little bit of Grandma is still here.

For Grandma's funeral, we drove up to St. Anthony in time for the viewing the day before.  We parked outside the funeral home, which happens to be across the street from Grandma's house.  We had come straight from school in Salt Lake and needed to change clothes, so we went to the house to do so.  In our rush from the car, I didn't anticipate the sweep of emotion that would hit me as I reached that familiar door, entry way, hallway, pink bathroom, Grandma's yellow bedroom.  So much of her wrapped all around me like a blanket, all at once.  Then over at the funeral home I felt it again, this time as I embraced cousins, aunts, uncles, and my dad and my mom--especially my mom (it was the first time I had seen her in that emotional week of losing her mom).

Later that evening, we gathered back at the house, where each of the daughters and granddaughters selected one of Grandma's hankies and a piece of her jewelry to wear at the funeral.  It was a sweet way to honor our stylish grandmother, and not unlike our "dress up" days so many years ago at grandma's house, all of us girls in front of the mirror, selecting something of Grandma's to wear.  No dancing and twirling into the front room this time, but we did joke that someone should wear the coveted set of pink butterfly wings to the funeral.

My cousin Andrea remembered something Grandma had said as the family gathered at the house following Grandpa Tibbitts' funeral six years ago: "Well, look what two people can do."  My grandmother, who sewed blankets and hankies and clothing, who cooked and knitted and painted and made music with her hands, also created a family.  So much of her lives on, which makes "moving on" hard and comforting at the same time.

April 10, 1924 – May 30, 2014 Betty D. Tibbitts passed away peacefully, incident to aging, in Idaho Falls, Idaho, Friday, May 30, 2014, surrounded by her children.

Betty Lou Davis was born April 10, 1924, in the family home in Heman, Idaho. She was the third daughter of Lew Wallace Davis and Ethelyn Rice Davis. Betty resided in the St. Anthony area for her entire 90-year life. She attended schools in St. Anthony and graduated from South Fremont High School in 1941. She studied piano from an early age and always enjoyed musical activities. She enjoyed singing with and accompanying choral groups. While in high school, she became well-acquainted with her future husband, Cleve Tibbitts, who played the French horn and was a member of the marching band. Betty and Cleve dated for three years in high school and, with the advent of World War II, their relationship developed from afar as Cleve was stationed at Ft. Douglas in the U. S. Army and Betty worked for Northrop Air Craft in essential services. As World War II was drawing to a conclusion, Betty and Cleve traveled to Salt Lake City and were married in the Salt Lake Temple on Betty's 21st birthday. Cleve and Betty lived in Salt Lake City while Cleve attended the University of Utah and, after his graduation, they moved back to St. Anthony, where Cleve worked in the family business, B. M. Tibbitts and Sons. Betty supported Cleve and was a true partner in his success.

Betty was actively involved in church and community activities. Her church services included leadership positions in the ward and stake Relief Societies, and she served as a ward and stake organist. She helped briefly with music at the Idaho Youth Training Center, and was a volunteer at the Family History Center. She was involved in county, city and school elections for 35 years. She shared her musical talents as a member of the Mello-Daires and directed the group for 35 of her 50 years as part of the organization. A highlight of Betty's life was to join her oldest grand-daughter, a soprano in the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, as the choir rehearsed for an upcoming performance. Betty and her late husband, Cleve, served an 18-month mission in Adelaide, Australia. They were also able to travel together to Hawaii, the Holy Land, Mexico and to parts of Europe.

Betty is probably best remembered for her many talents and her love of service. She loved connecting with friends and family as she traveled near and far. Betty celebrated her 90th birthday just last month, where her many personal talents were on display. This last birthday was a special occasion for her, and it was an opportunity for all who loved her to honor her and to pay tribute to her remarkable life. She was cherished by her children and extended family, and she will be missed.

Betty and Cleve had six children, Camille (Lynn) Bushman, Lou Ann (Wade) Larsen, Marsha (Rob) Tadje, Joan (Frank) Siddoway, Evan (Linda) Tibbitts and Myra (Bob) Lurker. She is also survived by 23 grandchildren and 21 great-grandchildren; and her siblings, Margery Browning of Portland, Ore., and Herbert (Maxine) Davis of Salt Lake City.

She was preceded in death by her husband, Cleve Marler Tibbbitts (Feb. 24, 2008); and a sister, Donna Scoville.